#53: A New Beginning

It has been almost a year since I’ve last blogged.  So much has happened that I don’t know where to start.  The biggest thing in my life right now is that I moved to California from Chicago, where I grew up all of my life, and have now been here for almost 3 months.  I can’t believe it’s been 3 months.

The first month I was here I did a lot of the “usual” things, like visit places, go out to eat, meet up with old faces, get to know new faces, etc…  The second month, I was trying to get more situated and build a regular schedule, and now into the third month, I’m starting to get a hang of things and will go back out to explore again soon!

Why did I come to California?

Well, honestly, it wasn’t quite what I was expecting either.  I had been praying for 3 years for a season to spend away from Chicago, and honestly, I was praying for Boston.  I wanted to go to Harvard, get my Ph.D, & be on the East Coast.  And it was still a drive, but at least I could drive back home when I did get homesick.  Now I have to fly bc my little Fit ain’t going over the mountains again.  Nuh uh.

Anywho, I had been praying for the right time, but every year I approached Pastor Ko to ask to leave (poor guy), and every year he said no.  To give myself some credit, I did obey. lol.  But what was the most important was that he told me that he really believed that I was to be at SSC until revival part 2 broke out in our youth.  So, I took that in and prayed.  Meanwhile, I was just waiting for the right timing.  In February, I went to a conference at Bethel, which was awesome, and went down to SoCal to visit Blessed folks.  I had an awesome time at their conference too, but I didn’t feel the tug to move… not until I stepped into the House of Presence to say bye to friends… I stepped in and I was only there for 5 mins, but God spoke to my heart about coming back, and not the visiting kind, but for an extended period of time.  I just kept praying about it, thinking to myself, “why would I ever move to California?”  Fast forward a few months to July and my mom sold our childhood home and our family business, the youth were revived in Kentucky, and I found myself in an odd position… I felt a weird sense of confirmation and freedom that THIS was the time to leave Chicago, my family, and SSC.  I still wasn’t convinced though… I’m one of those people that operates in the realms of certainty… lol.

I went to Vegas with my mom and then to visit friends again at Blessed and the SoCal area…. There, God gave me all the confirmation I needed.  I contacted my mom and PKO and asked for their blessing, and wow, BOTH gave it to me! *^^* I returned home and filled in my close brothers and sisters, all of whom were either sad/worried, but like the loving people they are, supportive.  I felt a strength and a backing, like having a group of people who believed in you and wanted the very best for you.  I feel consistently blessed on a daily basis.

I’ve never done anything this “crazy” in my life.  I packed up my stuff within two and a half months and moved out here in faith.  God has been doing some wonderful things and I really will share this time… lol… really.  Or will try to, somewhat diligently.

I’m just so thankful for this season. Sigh. Pray for me! *^^*

 

#52: Restoring My Faith in People

A couple days ago I was driving to work at around 4am.  It was still dark outside and it was pouring rain.  As I was driving, I saw a Hummer in the other lane of oncoming traffic suddenly squeal and u-turn into my lane in front of me.  He was still a ways up front and then he just stopped and put his high beams on.  I couldn’t see what the commotion was so I switched lanes and slowed to see an elderly person in a walker, shivering, soaked to the bone, and completely disoriented.  I stopped.  The driver from the Hummer got out.  He looked to be in his forties, and he grabbed an umbrella and shielded the woman who looked so lost.

I got out of the car and asked if he needed help, and he told me everything was alright and that he thought he could handle it.  I cried all the way to work.

Lately, I’ve been frustrated with people in general, but that morning God reminded me why he puts so much trust in us to build His Kingdom.  He restored my faith in people.

He also reminded me that there plenty of lost folks out there that need God’s loving touch – God’s people need to stay alert, awake, and go to love on people.

I have yet to update about my awesome Cali trip, which was indeed AWESOME.  I shall soon. I got slammed with things the minute I got home.  It’s been quite hectic, but in a good way.

But I just HAD to share this with everybody. Love it.

 

#51: February!

I can’t believe it.  It’s already February.  Gosh the time flies!

So, let’s see what’s new…
I’m going to California at the end of this month!  I’m SUPER excited.  I cannot wait!  My plan is a bit intense.  I’m going to Bethel (www.ibethel.org) for the “Piercing the Darkness” Conference, and then I’m heading down to LA to go visit a couple more churches in the LA area.  I’m planning on hitting up Saddleback, Blessed Intl, Harvest Rock, Mosaic, and possible another church.  We shall see.  Church tour!

I’m totally looking forward to my little spiritual retreat – SO excited.  More clarity and a time of rest – I hope to come home physically rested, spiritually rejuvenated, and just generally more saturated in Him.  WHOO!

Here is a song on my heart:

I don’t want to vent too much, but lately, I’ve been really struggling with everything that encompasses American youth culture.  Sometimes, I feel like it’d actually be easier to be in a different country and teach English or get involved in mission work overseas… but then it hit me: America may easily be the toughest mission field on the planet.  And God put me here for a reason – yes, I could leave anytime, just like I could have left anytime for jobs outside of Chicago… but God keeps tugging me here…. It’s like this message of love to my heart… that there are people dying in the richest country in the world in terms of SOULS.

Praying for the courage to stand, the passion to preach, and most importantly, the love of Jesus that covers EVERYTHING…

 

#50: First one of 2011!

ah yes. the first post of 2011!  As promised, there is more to come on my blog – I’m spending the next week or so adding stuff to it, but hey, how do you like the new look?

Anyhow, I feel GOOD.  I dunno what it is, but I like 2011 already! Ha! So this will have to be a quick entry bc I have to run around and tutor, but I leave you with one amazingly touching story…

PKO, Hawon, and Aarong are leaving for a Mission Trip from January 12-February 3.  They are going to Asia: Korea, Cambodia, Indonesia, and the Philippines.  Anyhow, financially, this trip is really expensive and for Hawon and Aarong, as students, it’s been about taking leaps of faith where $ is concerned.  Well, Aarong’s class, the 6th graders at SSC, completely and throughly humbled and overwhelmed me.  They put together their allowances, saebae money, poked their parents… etc… to give to Aaron.

Well, I wept.  And so did Aaron when they presented it to him yesterday.

In times where it’s easier to be selfish and justify keeping money to ourselves, these kids just gave it away.  And God reminded me that this was why Jesus said we needed faith like children.  Sigh.  So blessed!

Here is the Scavenger Hunt Video from the Winter Retreat.  Fun times!  More about THAT event later.

 

#49: Picking things up again…

My my… it’s been months since my last post.  I’d like to announce that I’m in the midst of adding things to it, so please be patient with me.  Here’s a quick post though:

A couple of weeks ago, I saw the cutest thing.  These three kids were on their way home from school.  There were two girls, presumably sisters as they had matching bikes, and one boy.  The boy looked to be the oldest and the biggest.  Anyhow, the girls probably rode their bikes to school that morning, and they were riding them on the way home from school in the afternoon.  Between the two girls, the older brother was carrying all of their bags… He had one pink bag on his left should, one blue bag on his back, and another pink bag dangling from his right should/arm.  Anyhow, the boy looked so happy and was chatting with his sisters as he was walking home.  Something just struck within me – the boy carrying his sister’s bags so joyfully and even though it looked heavy, so his sisters could ride freely, he carried them.

I dunno, but the whole scene just blessed my heart and challenged me so much to be like this little boy, to be a person who joyfully carries the burdens for others so that others can “ride freely” or so they don’t have to carry it alone.

I was rebuked by an 8 year old.  Those are the best!

——

Quickie update:
So since the last time I wrote a lot has happened, but the biggest thing is that I moved out my house of 12+ years and into my very own apartment!  Yes, I had some mixed feelings, but after being here for about a month now, I can say, I love living in my apt!  I live with Pastor Mingyung You and though we barely see each other due to completely different schedules, it’s great living with her!  We’re still in the process of making our place nice, but yeah, it feels comfy to me.  All house warming gifts are welcome! Ha!

Be blessed folks!  And more is on the way for my website so come visit again soon!

 

 

#48: 2 posts in a week! But I gotta share…

Ok yeah so 2 posts in a week! Crazy. It’s a record, but I have to share!

Today, I went to church and watched the IHOP Awakening service (www.ihop.org) and was gonna have a prayer meeting with whoever showed up.  Silvia came and while we were watching, there were two folks who had their hearing restored and so Wes Hall calls out about people needing hearing restored…. so I raise my hand lol…

//Rewind//

Last week at IHOP I was in the prayer room on Tuesday and I was just dwelling and enjoying the heavy presence of God.  It was so so good.  And all of the sudden, I heard angels singing.  At first I thought I was losing my mind… or perhaps hearing other people but I cannot describe what it was like… like inhuman singing harmonies and melodies all at the same time… awesome awesome awesome… ok… so I went and find Pastor Johnny Choi (hi oppa!)  and asked him like a total idiot “did you hear them?! did you hear them?!” lol… and he prayed for me that my ears would be open to the heavenly realms… as he was praying, I really felt in my heart that God wanted to heal the hearing in my left ear.  So I have been praying for it ever since….

I’ve had partial hearing loss in my left ear since high school due to a series of unfortunate events (too long of a story) and I would have pain and ringing and stuff… and I always thought the hearing loss was like a consequence to the life of sin I was in at the time… like a reminder that I once was a really big idiot and now am less of an idiot.  But I just felt compelled deep in my heart to pray off lies and stuff tonight….

//FAST FORWARD TO TODAY//

I raised my hand, started to pray, felt like fiery heat and then soothing cool in my ear as I placed my hand on it and started to pray… I took my hand off and I actually felt and heard a noticeable difference… it was AWESOME…

But better yet… I just kept praying for complete healing so I kept praying in the car ride home… and God just restored it!  I believe I have the complete healing in my left ear! FORREAL!!!! YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

i am happy.  God is good.

the end.

 

#47: Daddy’s little girl…

Ok, so the past couple of weeks have been amazing.  But first, thank you all for the prayers for all the June events… every event was a really blessing time.  Although it felt like a marathon of things, God strengthened us. And He  just loved on His people.  It was AWESOME!

It’s now July and the retreat has come and gone.  I can’t believe it.  The week was glorious.  Nothing like a crazy group of teenagers on fire for Jesus to inspire you about the history  makers God is rising up! mmm… good stuff! good stuff!

So at the retreat I met some uber talented, Jesus loving, Spirit-filled, and simply, very cool, people… shout out to the Blessed Intl team!  They let me follow them around, stalk them a lil, ask them personal questions,be all up in their business, sleep on their floor, narrate their Mafia games, and they shared a lot of love with me.  I was seriously blessed.  You see, after the retreat, I hung out in Kentucky (Thanks Paul & Hannah for letting me crash at your place!) while the Blessed team ministered to the Lexington folks… and then…. I actually came back to Chicago for one night and took off to IHOP-KC (www.ihop.org) to hang out with them (and some very great friends from KY – The Muns, Jin, and Johnny oppa!) some more.  LOL!

Ok, but really, what I wanted to share was that over the past couple of weeks, God just blasted me with His love.  And I really felt like I was Daddy’s lil girl… Heavenly Daddy’s lil girl… ya know what I mean?  Let me just be frank… it’s been like over 10 years since my earthly dad died… and there are days ya kno… ya just wish you could be somebody’s lil girl… ya kno… where you want somebody to hold your hand and tell you that everything is fine… or just take care of things… in the midst of taking care of things and running around and being busy I had forgotten I’m really His daughter.. his precious princess ya kno?  I mean, I’m like God’s lil girl!   Anyhow, God just seriously bombarded me with love and surrounded me with a bunch of people who kept speaking His love and truth over me the past two weeks… it’s been nuts.  Seriously.  Nuts.  NUTS!

Anyhow. splendid!  You wanna kno more?  Just call me and ask cham!

I stole this pic from Monica, who also rocks my socks.  Whoo!  Miss you all! Geez mon!

 

#46: Guatemala 2010

Hello folks.

The Guate team has left and will return at the end of this month (30th).  Please pray for these people!

Rev. Ethan Ko
Dan (Darong) Roh
Stephanie Kim
Rebekah Lee
Hawon Jung
Mark Kim
Holly Webster
Dennis Kim
Angela Noppenberger
Luke Harvey
Il Woong Big John Kim
Jonathan BJ Kim
Timothy Kim
Sharon Lee
David Chiao
Youngjin Samuel Kim
Joshua Chong
Alex Shin
Christine Chun
Amy Kwak

Prayer Requests:

• Faithful & Obedient hearts to hear and do what God says
• Health & safety
• Soft hearts of those who will hear the message
• Wisdom, discernment, and physical strength for the leadership
• Cooperation between government and officials for building of school
• Abundance of spiritual fruit for Guatemalans and team members

Thank you all for praying!

   

 

#45: it’s really hot…

Hello world.  It’s really hot here in the OP.  I don’t like it one bit… especially since I have no A/C in my car and my car is falling apart.  This really bites.  But other than that… life is splendid!

So summer is definitely here and I’m busy!  It looks like I’ll have plenty of ministry opportunities this summer, which I’m REALLY excited about.  In June, can ya’ll pray for me about these???

-SSC | As I continue to serve the youth as worship leader and behind the scenes coordinator that I’ll be faithful to pray, to love, and to give… Please pray for Friday and Sunday services, as well as extended responsibilities I’ll have to preach and teach when PKO is away in Guate.

-June 4th| Praise & Prayer:  Dunno what it is about this one, but God is just putting it on my heart to really pray hard and to expect more…

-June 6th | Revival Chicago:  It’s at Canaan Community Church at 4:30pm so if you can make it please come.  Pray for God’s presence to pour over us and for inner transformation of all those who come.  Pray for revival in Chicago and shift from what we’re used to for a bigger purpose and vision.

-June 8th | Revival SSC:  Our church is gonna come together to worship and to pray for revival at SSC.  It’s about time.

-June 19 | Worship @ Lakeview:  I’m leading worship at Lakeview on this day.  Please please pray for me.  Thanks.

Thanks friends, for your prayers and support.  I need it!

So, what’s been on my heart these days?  Well, these days I’ve been thinking a lot about DISCIPLESHIP.  What does it mean to be a disciple of Christ?  I don’t know, but something is stirring in my heart… I sense this… what’s the word… apathy? almost to what it means to be a disciple.  Almost like people are content on being “Christians”, satisfied with doing church, even those who are serving… and aren’t really PURSUING discipleship… aren’t really running after or have very little desire to be His disciple… to have a lifestyle to match with the busyness of doing church.  Ya kno what I mean?  I’ve been rebuked a lot lately.  That and in becoming a more passionate disciple of Christ, the need to really STUDY (gasp! I used the S-word!) the life of Christ and His Word.  It just seems like people are so into even serving at times that we’ve lost the bigger picture of a life that is set apart for Him, in love with Him, a life that looks more like Jesus and a lot less like us.

Yeah, I guess I’ve been really asking myself these days whether people see me and see Jesus in me working, whether the things I say and do match up with Jesus more or if they match up with more of the world or more of what I, Hedge Lee, want… and I’ve been rebuked a lot.  It’s been balanced with a healthy understanding of how God views me and loves for sure, but yeah, we’re all works of God, masterpieces in the making… constantly transforming… constantly needing to grow.  Anyhow, in the end, I just need to grow even more.  HAHA.  Sorry long explanations.

One thing I’m missing more and more these days is Guatemala.

Old Guate pics bring back a lot of great memories.  These are from Guate 2003.

 

#44: May, May… it’s almost summer!

Seriously, it’s sad that my blog has become a monthly thing.  This week I shall blog TWICE.  TWICE in a week.  Here it comes!

Ok, so Revival Chicago was great (check out my last blog) and the next one is….
SUNDAY, JUNE 6th! 
Same time (4:30pm), different location.  I do believe it’ll be at Canaan Presbyterian Church.  Awesome.  I can’t wait to see what will happen in Chicago as the Church comes together to cry out for this city.  Aw jyeah!

Summer Revival Breakout is coming!
Mark thy calendars!  July 5-9, 2010 @ Asbury College/Seminary in Wilmore, Kentucky.
$180 – check out www.r180m.com for more info.  Registration will be up soon!

Ok, nuff with the ads, life in Hedgieville is good.  I’m looking forward to a summer filled with awesome events, but man my prayer is that I’ll live a life that is so plainly with and for Jesus that there will be no doubt.  It’s hard though… I recently discovered that despite all my involvement in this or that, I can still be a flake… This was made more apparent the past week… An old HS friend found me on FB, and I found myself checking my FB profile to see if it was “Over Jesus-ed”… didn’t want to scare this person… or maybe I just didn’t want to be labeled a Jesus Freak in that moment… I dunno…lol… of course then I wanted to punch myself in the face and I felt incredibly STUPID.  Idiocy totally claimed that moment.  lol.  But alas… the episode revealed my oh-so-weak heart.  Gosh.

Rebuked by this verse as I reflected on my flakiness:
I am not ashamed by the Gospel for it is the power of God for everyone who believes
Romans 1:16

Lord, help me not be a flake.  Help me be bold.  Oh, and I really don’t mind being  a Jesus Freak.  Sorry Jesus.

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Last weekend, I spent it with the SSC WT.  It was a WT training weekend.  A couple of days away from SSC to chill, to pray, to fellowship, to eat, to expand our views, and see new things…

On Friday, we went to Hyunwoo’s for dinner.  Chef Hyunwoo BBQed us delicious burgers.  Then we headed out to Chicago House of Prayer in Bolingbrook, IL (http://www.chicagohouseofprayer.org/).  They have a regular Friday gathering.  They are affiliated with International House of Prayer in Kansas City, MO (www.ihop.org).  It reminded me a lot of IHOP actually… just a smaller scale.  It was great to worship in a new way and to pray with others who were seeking His presence.  It was a GREAT and blessing time.  Then, we went to a hotel in Naperville.  After we checked in, the hotel was kind enough to let us monopolize their breakfast room and watch a movie, while eating our awesome pizzas from Papa Johns.  We watched a movie called “Forever Strong”.  It’s about rugby.  It’s more about character.  So we talked about that for a lil bit after the movie… the importance of character and the kind of people we are, not just as WT members, but as PEOPLE… ya kno?!  So that was great (KIA KAHA WT!), prayed,  and then sleep time (well, I slept, the rest of them did weird things.. liek the boys violated each other, looked up music, did their facebooks, while Kelli & Sharon watched korean music videos… and Sharon, who was cracking up like crazy almost got us kicked out of the hotel… SO loud puhahahahaha).  

In the morning….WT kids ran around the hotel and swam in the pool, splashing water all over Luke’s phone, frying it, before we checked out and headed to…JOY YEES!  Yay.  So Saturday, we went to Joy Yees, and had yummy food and delicious bubble tea.  Then, like the very chakkae and wonderful students we are, we went to Naperville Public Library.  Yes, you read correctly… on WT we also study.  The kiddies studied for their AP tests or did their hw while I read the Santa Biblia and we actually went for a good 2.5 hours, which was excellent.  After our brains turned to jello, we headed to Harvest Bible Chapel in Rolling Meadows.  The hope for the weekend was to get exposure to places we had never been before and that led worship in different styles.  Last year we went to Willow Creek and throughout the school year we visited “Da Bridge” for Hip Hop worship so it’s been really good to check out how the Body of Christ worships… good learning experiences… worship and the message were amazing!  Then we drove home.  What a tiring weekend!  Jae and Luke took advantage of Tim’s sleeping to write all over his leg and Tim countered with massive violations to Jae, which you will see in the video below.  I noticed Luke escaped from the terror. LOL.

Please, oh please, pray for our WT boys.  Thank you.

This next month is also very busy.  Please pray for me to do all things with joy and pray for the WT kiddies if you can.  Thanks!

Till next time!