#54: I’m BACK!

Posted: February 27, 2013 in Uncategorized

Hedgie is back!

After a year hiatus – I’m back.  I’m finally settled in and I have a lot to say and write about, but we’ll take it slow.

Hopefully, this poor blog will see some more use.

2012 RECAP:
Long story short, I am finally settled in Cali and loving my life.  I’m now a Youth Pastor and I’m super thankful that God brought me here.  That’s the short version.  If you want the long one,  just ask. Hehe.

These days…
I was watching a new TV show called, “Golden Boy”.  In it the mentor/older partner of a young detective (golden boy <GB>) tells GB that “There are two dogs fighting inside of a man.  One’s evil.  The other is good.  Who wins?”  GB shrugs, and the mentor says, “The one you feed the most”.

Now I’m not sure about the dogs within or whatnot, but I will say this much: You have to feed something in order for it to grow.  That’s for sure.  Even mold grows because it feeds off something.  These days the word the Lord has been speaking to me about is PASSION.  What makes passion grow?  God commands in Romans 12:8 that leaders lead with zeal… so how do I keep the fire burning?  How do I continue to have zeal for all that is God’s?

I remember once that I met a White Sox player when I was 10.  I don’t really remember which player it was now (maybe Robin Ventura?), but after that I was overcome with passion for baseball. I thought about baseball all the time.  I watched it on TV.  I played it outside with my friends.   That encounter sparked this passion inside for the game and to continue wanting to meet baseball players.  And once I stopped having encounters, well, I stopped caring about baseball.

For me, it came down to my daily encounters with Jesus. Some people call it intimacy, other people call it quiet times… it doesn’t matter what you call it.  The bottom line is that if you encounter the living God each day – His love, His mercy, His grace, His provision, His goodness, His miracles, His presence, etc. – it’ll be hard to walk away from that encounter NOT fired up, NOT zealous, NOT overcome with desire to go and rock the world with His love.  How can you encounter such a love and not walk away consumed to share it with whoever you can?  Yup, I’m growing in zeal and I like it.

Encounter feeds Passion.  Intimacy is the fuel for Passion.

I don’t ever want to be passionless.  That’s my prayer.  I never want to do anything out of duty, obligation, religiosity, or tradition.  I want everything I do to be motivated by love bc He is love.  Everyday I see folks walking around without passion, without motivation, without purpose, and frankly I feel sorry for them and recognize the foolishness in my own heart.  It’s when I stop encountering my Savior everyday that I get lost in everything else, that I easily stop caring about the Kingdom, and that I get absorbed in myself and in things that won’t last for eternity.  I don’t ever want to be like that.  I want to be a passionate Kingdom builder, world shaker, and all that jazz all the time, everyday, for the rest of my life on this earth, and in heaven afterwards.

#JesusEncounters

 

 

#53: A New Beginning

Posted: January 23, 2012 in Uncategorized

It has been almost a year since I’ve last blogged.  So much has happened that I don’t know where to start.  The biggest thing in my life right now is that I moved to California from Chicago, where I grew up all of my life, and have now been here for almost 3 months.  I can’t believe it’s been 3 months.

The first month I was here I did a lot of the “usual” things, like visit places, go out to eat, meet up with old faces, get to know new faces, etc…  The second month, I was trying to get more situated and build a regular schedule, and now into the third month, I’m starting to get a hang of things and will go back out to explore again soon!

Why did I come to California?

Well, honestly, it wasn’t quite what I was expecting either.  I had been praying for 3 years for a season to spend away from Chicago, and honestly, I was praying for Boston.  I wanted to go to Harvard, get my Ph.D, & be on the East Coast.  And it was still a drive, but at least I could drive back home when I did get homesick.  Now I have to fly bc my little Fit ain’t going over the mountains again.  Nuh uh.

Anywho, I had been praying for the right time, but every year I approached Pastor Ko to ask to leave (poor guy), and every year he said no.  To give myself some credit, I did obey. lol.  But what was the most important was that he told me that he really believed that I was to be at SSC until revival part 2 broke out in our youth.  So, I took that in and prayed.  Meanwhile, I was just waiting for the right timing.  In February, I went to a conference at Bethel, which was awesome, and went down to SoCal to visit Blessed folks.  I had an awesome time at their conference too, but I didn’t feel the tug to move… not until I stepped into the House of Presence to say bye to friends… I stepped in and I was only there for 5 mins, but God spoke to my heart about coming back, and not the visiting kind, but for an extended period of time.  I just kept praying about it, thinking to myself, “why would I ever move to California?”  Fast forward a few months to July and my mom sold our childhood home and our family business, the youth were revived in Kentucky, and I found myself in an odd position… I felt a weird sense of confirmation and freedom that THIS was the time to leave Chicago, my family, and SSC.  I still wasn’t convinced though… I’m one of those people that operates in the realms of certainty… lol.

I went to Vegas with my mom and then to visit friends again at Blessed and the SoCal area…. There, God gave me all the confirmation I needed.  I contacted my mom and PKO and asked for their blessing, and wow, BOTH gave it to me! *^^* I returned home and filled in my close brothers and sisters, all of whom were either sad/worried, but like the loving people they are, supportive.  I felt a strength and a backing, like having a group of people who believed in you and wanted the very best for you.  I feel consistently blessed on a daily basis.

I’ve never done anything this “crazy” in my life.  I packed up my stuff within two and a half months and moved out here in faith.  God has been doing some wonderful things and I really will share this time… lol… really.  Or will try to, somewhat diligently.

I’m just so thankful for this season. Sigh. Pray for me! *^^*

A couple days ago I was driving to work at around 4am.  It was still dark outside and it was pouring rain.  As I was driving, I saw a Hummer in the other lane of oncoming traffic suddenly squeal and u-turn into my lane in front of me.  He was still a ways up front and then he just stopped and put his high beams on.  I couldn’t see what the commotion was so I switched lanes and slowed to see an elderly person in a walker, shivering, soaked to the bone, and completely disoriented.  I stopped.  The driver from the Hummer got out.  He looked to be in his forties, and he grabbed an umbrella and shielded the woman who looked so lost.

I got out of the car and asked if he needed help, and he told me everything was alright and that he thought he could handle it.  I cried all the way to work.

Lately, I’ve been frustrated with people in general, but that morning God reminded me why he puts so much trust in us to build His Kingdom.  He restored my faith in people.

He also reminded me that there plenty of lost folks out there that need God’s loving touch – God’s people need to stay alert, awake, and go to love on people.

I have yet to update about my awesome Cali trip, which was indeed AWESOME.  I shall soon. I got slammed with things the minute I got home.  It’s been quite hectic, but in a good way.

But I just HAD to share this with everybody. Love it.

#51: February!

Posted: February 9, 2011 in Uncategorized

I can’t believe it.  It’s already February.  Gosh the time flies!

So, let’s see what’s new…
I’m going to California at the end of this month!  I’m SUPER excited.  I cannot wait!  My plan is a bit intense.  I’m going to Bethel (www.ibethel.org) for the “Piercing the Darkness” Conference, and then I’m heading down to LA to go visit a couple more churches in the LA area.  I’m planning on hitting up Saddleback, Blessed Intl, Harvest Rock, Mosaic, and possible another church.  We shall see.  Church tour!

I’m totally looking forward to my little spiritual retreat – SO excited.  More clarity and a time of rest – I hope to come home physically rested, spiritually rejuvenated, and just generally more saturated in Him.  WHOO!

Here is a song on my heart:

I don’t want to vent too much, but lately, I’ve been really struggling with everything that encompasses American youth culture.  Sometimes, I feel like it’d actually be easier to be in a different country and teach English or get involved in mission work overseas… but then it hit me: America may easily be the toughest mission field on the planet.  And God put me here for a reason – yes, I could leave anytime, just like I could have left anytime for jobs outside of Chicago… but God keeps tugging me here…. It’s like this message of love to my heart… that there are people dying in the richest country in the world in terms of SOULS.

Praying for the courage to stand, the passion to preach, and most importantly, the love of Jesus that covers EVERYTHING…

#50: First one of 2011!

Posted: January 10, 2011 in Uncategorized

ah yes. the first post of 2011!  As promised, there is more to come on my blog – I’m spending the next week or so adding stuff to it, but hey, how do you like the new look?

Anyhow, I feel GOOD.  I dunno what it is, but I like 2011 already! Ha! So this will have to be a quick entry bc I have to run around and tutor, but I leave you with one amazingly touching story…

PKO, Hawon, and Aarong are leaving for a Mission Trip from January 12-February 3.  They are going to Asia: Korea, Cambodia, Indonesia, and the Philippines.  Anyhow, financially, this trip is really expensive and for Hawon and Aarong, as students, it’s been about taking leaps of faith where $ is concerned.  Well, Aarong’s class, the 6th graders at SSC, completely and throughly humbled and overwhelmed me.  They put together their allowances, saebae money, poked their parents… etc… to give to Aaron.

Well, I wept.  And so did Aaron when they presented it to him yesterday.

In times where it’s easier to be selfish and justify keeping money to ourselves, these kids just gave it away.  And God reminded me that this was why Jesus said we needed faith like children.  Sigh.  So blessed!

Here is the Scavenger Hunt Video from the Winter Retreat.  Fun times!  More about THAT event later.

#49: Picking things up again…

Posted: December 1, 2010 in Uncategorized

My my… it’s been months since my last post.  I’d like to announce that I’m in the midst of adding things to it, so please be patient with me.  Here’s a quick post though:

A couple of weeks ago, I saw the cutest thing.  These three kids were on their way home from school.  There were two girls, presumably sisters as they had matching bikes, and one boy.  The boy looked to be the oldest and the biggest.  Anyhow, the girls probably rode their bikes to school that morning, and they were riding them on the way home from school in the afternoon.  Between the two girls, the older brother was carrying all of their bags… He had one pink bag on his left should, one blue bag on his back, and another pink bag dangling from his right should/arm.  Anyhow, the boy looked so happy and was chatting with his sisters as he was walking home.  Something just struck within me – the boy carrying his sister’s bags so joyfully and even though it looked heavy, so his sisters could ride freely, he carried them.

I dunno, but the whole scene just blessed my heart and challenged me so much to be like this little boy, to be a person who joyfully carries the burdens for others so that others can “ride freely” or so they don’t have to carry it alone.

I was rebuked by an 8 year old.  Those are the best!

——

Quickie update:
So since the last time I wrote a lot has happened, but the biggest thing is that I moved out my house of 12+ years and into my very own apartment!  Yes, I had some mixed feelings, but after being here for about a month now, I can say, I love living in my apt!  I live with Pastor Mingyung You and though we barely see each other due to completely different schedules, it’s great living with her!  We’re still in the process of making our place nice, but yeah, it feels comfy to me.  All house warming gifts are welcome! Ha!

Be blessed folks!  And more is on the way for my website so come visit again soon!

 

Ok yeah so 2 posts in a week! Crazy. It’s a record, but I have to share!

Today, I went to church and watched the IHOP Awakening service (www.ihop.org) and was gonna have a prayer meeting with whoever showed up.  Silvia came and while we were watching, there were two folks who had their hearing restored and so Wes Hall calls out about people needing hearing restored…. so I raise my hand lol…

//Rewind//

Last week at IHOP I was in the prayer room on Tuesday and I was just dwelling and enjoying the heavy presence of God.  It was so so good.  And all of the sudden, I heard angels singing.  At first I thought I was losing my mind… or perhaps hearing other people but I cannot describe what it was like… like inhuman singing harmonies and melodies all at the same time… awesome awesome awesome… ok… so I went and find Pastor Johnny Choi (hi oppa!)  and asked him like a total idiot “did you hear them?! did you hear them?!” lol… and he prayed for me that my ears would be open to the heavenly realms… as he was praying, I really felt in my heart that God wanted to heal the hearing in my left ear.  So I have been praying for it ever since….

I’ve had partial hearing loss in my left ear since high school due to a series of unfortunate events (too long of a story) and I would have pain and ringing and stuff… and I always thought the hearing loss was like a consequence to the life of sin I was in at the time… like a reminder that I once was a really big idiot and now am less of an idiot.  But I just felt compelled deep in my heart to pray off lies and stuff tonight….

//FAST FORWARD TO TODAY//

I raised my hand, started to pray, felt like fiery heat and then soothing cool in my ear as I placed my hand on it and started to pray… I took my hand off and I actually felt and heard a noticeable difference… it was AWESOME…

But better yet… I just kept praying for complete healing so I kept praying in the car ride home… and God just restored it!  I believe I have the complete healing in my left ear! FORREAL!!!! YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

i am happy.  God is good.

the end.