Archive for March, 2010

Yay to the recent lovely weather above 50 degrees!  Hurrah! 

Well, I’m super excited bc at the end of April, Hawon is opening his home studio to me so I can quit recording with my junky stuff (namely, my phone or my point and shoot cam).  So, I’m writing & composing, and also polishing up some old stuff.  I’m excited.  Yay.   The first song I ever wrote was when I was 16 years old… well first worship song that is.  It was so ridiculously simple, and it was done in the basement of my friends, Daniel and Esther Ko (who were so awesomely supportive of me all this time – thanks guys!) and yeah, with cassette tapes! HAHAHAHAHA. Oh gosh.  It’s been a journey with songwriting and worship bc I’ve spent a lot of the past few years trying to reject God’s calling for me to lead worship or to write songs.  Frankly, there are people out there who are just so much more musically gifted and talented… there are people I’ve felt that are much better suited… but that has always been my problem… my view is NOT God’s view… and my lack of whatever just makes me so much more dependent on Him so I’m SO SO thankful for that.  Anyways, I’m excited to write songs that I’m praying will help people worship or that can really speak to people’s hearts and draw them closer to the throne room of God.  Sigh. Wonderful.

I wrote a new song last night and it was like one of those moments when everything just flooded out. LOL.  The recording is pretty ghetto and my raspy and hoarse could not be fixed bc I had sung my heart out last night at “Da Bridge” Hip Hop worship at Spirit of God Church (which was pretttty cool) so my apologies.  I can’t wait to do this song properly in Hawon’s cool home studio.  I screw up a lot too.  Whatevs, it’ll be perfected later… shout out to ESTHER PAK, this post is for you!

Deliverer, Comforter
I put all my trust in You
When the weariness consumes
Death upon me soon
I put all my hope in You

[Pre-chorus] (personally, my favorite part lol…totally claiming this right now!)
I believe that You are for me
And not against me
I believe You’re fighting for me now (Savior)

O I feel Your love
O I feel Your heart right next to mine
O Lord You Protect me
O You shield my heart from all the lies

I belong to You forever
All I am is Yours

Yesterday I spoke at a funeral of an old friend, Brian.  He was shot to death trying to save his younger brother, Matt, from a life of drugs.  When I found out Sunday, I thought, “God, he’s gonna make it right? I mean it wouldn’t be fair… out of all the people who went to go help, his own brother?”  I prayed on the way to the hospital that he was gonna be ok, but when I got there, it was too late.  He had already passed.  All day, and all week really, I was seriously struggling with many many things… I wasn’t sure what I would say at the funeral bc I was honestly angry… I couldn’t believe everything happened this way.  I walked up and I opened my mouth and all these words came out.  Praise God.  Words that I hope brought healing bc as I was speaking them, they brought healing.  The basic gist of it was that Brian’s sacrifice for his brother was his life.  He was willing, and he gave it, so that Matt could have life.  And I started sharing about how it was the same for Jesus but only on a grander scale and how his sacrifice will mean something bc Matt is gonna start really LIVING his life.  It wouldn’t be a waste, but it would breathe life to someone he loved and bc of that – it was worth it. I was also rebuked… how far would I REALLY be willing to go for the sake of people I loved?  Would I really be willing to die?  I mean, it’s easy to talk about sacrifice and talk about what we should or could do, but would I seriously be able to die for my loved ones?  My heart was so challenged. Gosh.

Anyhow, this is what’s been going on with me. lol. oh! and i saw angels. that too. puhahahaha. i’m delirious. and i’m out!