Ok, so the past couple of weeks have been amazing.  But first, thank you all for the prayers for all the June events… every event was a really blessing time.  Although it felt like a marathon of things, God strengthened us. And He  just loved on His people.  It was AWESOME!

It’s now July and the retreat has come and gone.  I can’t believe it.  The week was glorious.  Nothing like a crazy group of teenagers on fire for Jesus to inspire you about the history  makers God is rising up! mmm… good stuff! good stuff!

So at the retreat I met some uber talented, Jesus loving, Spirit-filled, and simply, very cool, people… shout out to the Blessed Intl team!  They let me follow them around, stalk them a lil, ask them personal questions,be all up in their business, sleep on their floor, narrate their Mafia games, and they shared a lot of love with me.  I was seriously blessed.  You see, after the retreat, I hung out in Kentucky (Thanks Paul & Hannah for letting me crash at your place!) while the Blessed team ministered to the Lexington folks… and then…. I actually came back to Chicago for one night and took off to IHOP-KC (www.ihop.org) to hang out with them (and some very great friends from KY – The Muns, Jin, and Johnny oppa!) some more.  LOL!

Ok, but really, what I wanted to share was that over the past couple of weeks, God just blasted me with His love.  And I really felt like I was Daddy’s lil girl… Heavenly Daddy’s lil girl… ya know what I mean?  Let me just be frank… it’s been like over 10 years since my earthly dad died… and there are days ya kno… ya just wish you could be somebody’s lil girl… ya kno… where you want somebody to hold your hand and tell you that everything is fine… or just take care of things… in the midst of taking care of things and running around and being busy I had forgotten I’m really His daughter.. his precious princess ya kno?  I mean, I’m like God’s lil girl!   Anyhow, God just seriously bombarded me with love and surrounded me with a bunch of people who kept speaking His love and truth over me the past two weeks… it’s been nuts.  Seriously.  Nuts.  NUTS!

Anyhow. splendid!  You wanna kno more?  Just call me and ask cham!

I stole this pic from Monica, who also rocks my socks.  Whoo!  Miss you all! Geez mon!

#46: Guatemala 2010

Posted: July 15, 2010 in Uncategorized

Hello folks.

The Guate team has left and will return at the end of this month (30th).  Please pray for these people!

Rev. Ethan Ko
Dan (Darong) Roh
Stephanie Kim
Rebekah Lee
Hawon Jung
Mark Kim
Holly Webster
Dennis Kim
Angela Noppenberger
Luke Harvey
Il Woong Big John Kim
Jonathan BJ Kim
Timothy Kim
Sharon Lee
David Chiao
Youngjin Samuel Kim
Joshua Chong
Alex Shin
Christine Chun
Amy Kwak

Prayer Requests:

  • Faithful & Obedient hearts to hear and do what God says
  • Health & safety
  • Soft hearts of those who will hear the message
  • Wisdom, discernment, and physical strength for the leadership
  • Cooperation between government and officials for building of school
  • Abundance of spiritual fruit for Guatemalans and team members

Thank you all for praying!

   

#45: it’s really hot…

Posted: May 26, 2010 in Uncategorized

Hello world.  It’s really hot here in the OP.  I don’t like it one bit… especially since I have no A/C in my car and my car is falling apart.  This really bites.  But other than that… life is splendid!

So summer is definitely here and I’m busy!  It looks like I’ll have plenty of ministry opportunities this summer, which I’m REALLY excited about.  In June, can ya’ll pray for me about these???

SSC | As I continue to serve the youth as worship leader and behind the scenes coordinator that I’ll be faithful to pray, to love, and to give… Please pray for Friday and Sunday services, as well as extended responsibilities I’ll have to preach and teach when PKO is away in Guate.

June 4th| Praise & Prayer:  Dunno what it is about this one, but God is just putting it on my heart to really pray hard and to expect more…

June 6th | Revival Chicago:  It’s at Canaan Community Church at 4:30pm so if you can make it please come.  Pray for God’s presence to pour over us and for inner transformation of all those who come.  Pray for revival in Chicago and shift from what we’re used to for a bigger purpose and vision.

June 8th | Revival SSC:  Our church is gonna come together to worship and to pray for revival at SSC.  It’s about time.

June 19 | Worship @ Lakeview:  I’m leading worship at Lakeview on this day.  Please please pray for me.  Thanks.

Thanks friends, for your prayers and support.  I need it!

So, what’s been on my heart these days?  Well, these days I’ve been thinking a lot about DISCIPLESHIP.  What does it mean to be a disciple of Christ?  I don’t know, but something is stirring in my heart… I sense this… what’s the word… apathy? almost to what it means to be a disciple.  Almost like people are content on being “Christians”, satisfied with doing church, even those who are serving… and aren’t really PURSUING discipleship… aren’t really running after or have very little desire to be His disciple… to have a lifestyle to match with the busyness of doing church.  Ya kno what I mean?  I’ve been rebuked a lot lately.  That and in becoming a more passionate disciple of Christ, the need to really STUDY (gasp! I used the S-word!) the life of Christ and His Word.  It just seems like people are so into even serving at times that we’ve lost the bigger picture of a life that is set apart for Him, in love with Him, a life that looks more like Jesus and a lot less like us.

Yeah, I guess I’ve been really asking myself these days whether people see me and see Jesus in me working, whether the things I say and do match up with Jesus more or if they match up with more of the world or more of what I, Hedge Lee, want… and I’ve been rebuked a lot.  It’s been balanced with a healthy understanding of how God views me and loves for sure, but yeah, we’re all works of God, masterpieces in the making… constantly transforming… constantly needing to grow.  Anyhow, in the end, I just need to grow even more.  HAHA.  Sorry long explanations.

One thing I’m missing more and more these days is Guatemala.

Old Guate pics bring back a lot of great memories.  These are from Guate 2003.

Seriously, it’s sad that my blog has become a monthly thing.  This week I shall blog TWICE.  TWICE in a week.  Here it comes!

Ok, so Revival Chicago was great (check out my last blog) and the next one is….
SUNDAY, JUNE 6th! 
Same time (4:30pm), different location.  I do believe it’ll be at Canaan Presbyterian Church.  Awesome.  I can’t wait to see what will happen in Chicago as the Church comes together to cry out for this city.  Aw jyeah!

Summer Revival Breakout is coming!
Mark thy calendars!  July 5-9, 2010 @ Asbury College/Seminary in Wilmore, Kentucky.
$180 – check out www.r180m.com for more info.  Registration will be up soon!

Ok, nuff with the ads, life in Hedgieville is good.  I’m looking forward to a summer filled with awesome events, but man my prayer is that I’ll live a life that is so plainly with and for Jesus that there will be no doubt.  It’s hard though… I recently discovered that despite all my involvement in this or that, I can still be a flake… This was made more apparent the past week… An old HS friend found me on FB, and I found myself checking my FB profile to see if it was “Over Jesus-ed”… didn’t want to scare this person… or maybe I just didn’t want to be labeled a Jesus Freak in that moment… I dunno…lol… of course then I wanted to punch myself in the face and I felt incredibly STUPID.  Idiocy totally claimed that moment.  lol.  But alas… the episode revealed my oh-so-weak heart.  Gosh.

Rebuked by this verse as I reflected on my flakiness:
I am not ashamed by the Gospel for it is the power of God for everyone who believes
Romans 1:16

Lord, help me not be a flake.  Help me be bold.  Oh, and I really don’t mind being  a Jesus Freak.  Sorry Jesus.

==================

Last weekend, I spent it with the SSC WT.  It was a WT training weekend.  A couple of days away from SSC to chill, to pray, to fellowship, to eat, to expand our views, and see new things…

On Friday, we went to Hyunwoo’s for dinner.  Chef Hyunwoo BBQed us delicious burgers.  Then we headed out to Chicago House of Prayer in Bolingbrook, IL (http://www.chicagohouseofprayer.org/).  They have a regular Friday gathering.  They are affiliated with International House of Prayer in Kansas City, MO (www.ihop.org).  It reminded me a lot of IHOP actually… just a smaller scale.  It was great to worship in a new way and to pray with others who were seeking His presence.  It was a GREAT and blessing time.  Then, we went to a hotel in Naperville.  After we checked in, the hotel was kind enough to let us monopolize their breakfast room and watch a movie, while eating our awesome pizzas from Papa Johns.  We watched a movie called “Forever Strong”.  It’s about rugby.  It’s more about character.  So we talked about that for a lil bit after the movie… the importance of character and the kind of people we are, not just as WT members, but as PEOPLE… ya kno?!  So that was great (KIA KAHA WT!), prayed,  and then sleep time (well, I slept, the rest of them did weird things.. liek the boys violated each other, looked up music, did their facebooks, while Kelli & Sharon watched korean music videos… and Sharon, who was cracking up like crazy almost got us kicked out of the hotel… SO loud puhahahahaha).  

In the morning….WT kids ran around the hotel and swam in the pool, splashing water all over Luke’s phone, frying it, before we checked out and headed to…JOY YEES!  Yay.  So Saturday, we went to Joy Yees, and had yummy food and delicious bubble tea.  Then, like the very chakkae and wonderful students we are, we went to Naperville Public Library.  Yes, you read correctly… on WT we also study.  The kiddies studied for their AP tests or did their hw while I read the Santa Biblia and we actually went for a good 2.5 hours, which was excellent.  After our brains turned to jello, we headed to Harvest Bible Chapel in Rolling Meadows.  The hope for the weekend was to get exposure to places we had never been before and that led worship in different styles.  Last year we went to Willow Creek and throughout the school year we visited “Da Bridge” for Hip Hop worship so it’s been really good to check out how the Body of Christ worships… good learning experiences… worship and the message were amazing!  Then we drove home.  What a tiring weekend!  Jae and Luke took advantage of Tim’s sleeping to write all over his leg and Tim countered with massive violations to Jae, which you will see in the video below.  I noticed Luke escaped from the terror. LOL.

Please, oh please, pray for our WT boys.  Thank you.

This next month is also very busy.  Please pray for me to do all things with joy and pray for the WT kiddies if you can.  Thanks!

Till next time!

#43: Oh, it’s April!

Posted: April 17, 2010 in Uncategorized

My goodness. Time flies.  I have been doing a grave injustice to my poor blog.  Sorry wordpress blog, I’ll write in here more often.  Or try.  Badly probably.

Anyhow, so for the past month let’s see… Celebrated a wonderful Good Friday / Easter weekend with the YG and met some awesome folks from New Life Church in Palatine.  Looking forward to seeing how God will use us together in the future.  Celebrated by 27th birthday… I have some wonderful people in my life that made it fun, despite my repeated statements that I did not want to celebrate my birthday.  I feel old.  Chalk it up to quarter life crisis… Currently I’m still unemployed and unmarried/engaged/dating. Lol.  Strangely though, I am unfazed.  Thank God, otherwise I might be a poor miserable soul constantly plagued by depressive bouts… oh wait… that is me!  Just kidding.  NOT me.  I am currently enjoying my life very much these days! 

I’ve been asking God for a new heart… His heart for Chicago and His heart for revival.  It’s been GOOD.  Lots more time in meditation and reading His Word… lots more time praying… I’ve also been out to visit other chuches/organizations to receive, fellowship, and learn how others minister… it’s been great.  Checking out some local ones in the area and some a lil further. Last Saturday, I went to Chicago House of Prayer in Bolingbrook (which seriously reminded me of IHOP in Kansas City).  This Sunday I plan on visiting Vineyard of Oak Park, reuniting with some New Life folks.  All this for me, to grow, and also in preparation for this “new thing” that r180 is gonna be hosting… monthly revival services in Chicago.   Gosh… I dunno what to expect or what to think sometimes.. but all I know is that the time has come to put aside differences and even all of the different church names, denominations, and titles… and just come together as the Church to pray for revival and the lost in our own back yard.  I’m praying that it’s gonna be a time for unity and equipping and intercession… and this not to knock on local churches and how things are done… heck no… just further equipping, blessing, and coming together of folks… then going back and doing what God tells us to do in our local churches and strengthening that Body… gotta love that.

At any rate, I’m excited.  The first Revival service will be coming up in a couple of weeks.  Sunday, April 25th!  (Check out my “Ministry” section for more info).  God let your glory fall!

iheart this song!

Some thoughts just coming out of my heart…
Throw my hands in the air and back away
The test of character too much these days
But if I’ll be “all in”
Set me apart – be gone oh sin!
My ears are tickled from what the world says
About living His way, that it’s so much less…
Help me remember when I believed
His love was always available to receive
That my heart can always burn –
These days challenge me to return

So if I claim I belong to you
Let my life shine like it’s true
I’d rather not let excuses rise
To please man or sins justify
Let passion never die
Let my heart always cry
“Revival Lord, Set us free!”
Only You, do I truly seek

Yay to the recent lovely weather above 50 degrees!  Hurrah! 

Well, I’m super excited bc at the end of April, Hawon is opening his home studio to me so I can quit recording with my junky stuff (namely, my phone or my point and shoot cam).  So, I’m writing & composing, and also polishing up some old stuff.  I’m excited.  Yay.   The first song I ever wrote was when I was 16 years old… well first worship song that is.  It was so ridiculously simple, and it was done in the basement of my friends, Daniel and Esther Ko (who were so awesomely supportive of me all this time – thanks guys!) and yeah, with cassette tapes! HAHAHAHAHA. Oh gosh.  It’s been a journey with songwriting and worship bc I’ve spent a lot of the past few years trying to reject God’s calling for me to lead worship or to write songs.  Frankly, there are people out there who are just so much more musically gifted and talented… there are people I’ve felt that are much better suited… but that has always been my problem… my view is NOT God’s view… and my lack of whatever just makes me so much more dependent on Him so I’m SO SO thankful for that.  Anyways, I’m excited to write songs that I’m praying will help people worship or that can really speak to people’s hearts and draw them closer to the throne room of God.  Sigh. Wonderful.

I wrote a new song last night and it was like one of those moments when everything just flooded out. LOL.  The recording is pretty ghetto and my raspy and hoarse could not be fixed bc I had sung my heart out last night at “Da Bridge” Hip Hop worship at Spirit of God Church (which was pretttty cool) so my apologies.  I can’t wait to do this song properly in Hawon’s cool home studio.  I screw up a lot too.  Whatevs, it’ll be perfected later… shout out to ESTHER PAK, this post is for you!

Lyrics:
Adonai
[Verse]
Deliverer, Comforter
I put all my trust in You
When the weariness consumes
Death upon me soon
I put all my hope in You

[Pre-chorus] (personally, my favorite part lol…totally claiming this right now!)
I believe that You are for me
And not against me
I believe You’re fighting for me now (Savior)

[Chorus]
O I feel Your love
O I feel Your heart right next to mine
Adonai
O Lord You Protect me
O You shield my heart from all the lies
Adonai

[Bridge]
I belong to You forever
All I am is Yours

Yesterday I spoke at a funeral of an old friend, Brian.  He was shot to death trying to save his younger brother, Matt, from a life of drugs.  When I found out Sunday, I thought, “God, he’s gonna make it right? I mean it wouldn’t be fair… out of all the people who went to go help, his own brother?”  I prayed on the way to the hospital that he was gonna be ok, but when I got there, it was too late.  He had already passed.  All day, and all week really, I was seriously struggling with many many things… I wasn’t sure what I would say at the funeral bc I was honestly angry… I couldn’t believe everything happened this way.  I walked up and I opened my mouth and all these words came out.  Praise God.  Words that I hope brought healing bc as I was speaking them, they brought healing.  The basic gist of it was that Brian’s sacrifice for his brother was his life.  He was willing, and he gave it, so that Matt could have life.  And I started sharing about how it was the same for Jesus but only on a grander scale and how his sacrifice will mean something bc Matt is gonna start really LIVING his life.  It wouldn’t be a waste, but it would breathe life to someone he loved and bc of that – it was worth it. I was also rebuked… how far would I REALLY be willing to go for the sake of people I loved?  Would I really be willing to die?  I mean, it’s easy to talk about sacrifice and talk about what we should or could do, but would I seriously be able to die for my loved ones?  My heart was so challenged. Gosh.

Anyhow, this is what’s been going on with me. lol. oh! and i saw angels. that too. puhahahaha. i’m delirious. and i’m out!

#41: Guarding my heart…

Posted: February 25, 2010 in Uncategorized

So the past couple of weeks have been a true challenge because I have felt overwhelmed by a really depressive spirit… and I know I’m not depressed, but something kept weighing down my heart… I kept feeling like things were hopeless or that I was worthless or just weird heavy spiritual warfare… and it was consuming my thoughts, mind, and I couldn’t sleep…

The past few days though… I’ve felt this awakening and a very huge REALIZATION of how I need to guard my heart and be a lot more alert.  Sneakiness is the enemy’s forte and he’s a pro.

Some verses he put on my heart:
Proverbs 4:23
Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life

Ephesians 6:10-12
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might.  Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.  For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic power over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

I was also really encouraged when I read this, that I could have confidence because Jesus was interceding for me always:
Hebrews 7:25
Consequently, he is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them.

Amen.

UPDATE:
It’s been rough… getting job offers in other states is flattering and cool, but getting none from Chicago and getting rejected from another in Chicago is incredibly frustrating.   I feel like the enemy uses it to manipulate my heart and mind to think I’m not supposed to be in Chicago.  It’s very strong… but deep inside, I know that God wants me to be in Chicago, at least immediately now… but I have to admit it’s a struggle.  Please pray for me.

Tutoring is going well though… I have a bunch of students and they are normally (hahaha) bright and make me laugh so that’s great.  Laughter is great for the soul for sure.  Other than that, nothing new… I have been working on new songs and tweaking old ones… as soon as Hawon is less busy and I can make time to get up to his awesome ghetto fabulous home recording studio, putting down some tracks is the goal.  Hooray!  Please pray for me about that too.

I loved how they recorded this, but I feel like a lot of people are doing it.  GREAT song though.  Love it!

The song is “Love Came Down” by Brian Johnson from Bethel Church in Redding, CA.

Been thinking I need a change.  used to change my hair color a lot. Remember this?!

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